Hello

[714Dad]

well, the two hours were entirely about custody. i had my shined allen edmonds shoes, new cologne... etc.

I was early, she was late.

She looks very tired, but I still couldn't stop looking at her. The first thing I wanted to talk about was custody, so we went with that.

I suggested the 2-2-3 plan phasing into the 2-2-5 plan in two years. my wife was noticeably shocked to see how much less time she will get to see the girls as we go to shared custody. when the mediator left the room she said she felt like she should get sole custody and i could see them on weekends because "all i ever did was complain about having to watch them."

The mediator agreed with the 2-2-3 plan and my wife said she liked the 2-2-5 plan better. after a while W finally agreed that the former plan was better because of the time spent away from the parent is less. it's better for three year olds anyway. She is genuinely upset and even teary over realizing how much less she'll see them.

I tried validating language. I disagreed gently a few times but let it go when she got more upset.

She doesn't want my parents to watch them and instead wants daycare or a nanny of some kind to watch them. how that will be affordable i don't know.

throughout the meeting i cracked a few jokes, my wife huffed, but not a real laugh. i was upbeat, spoke softly, but didn't back down. each holiday we discussed and modified my idea as she suggested something else.

We left ten minutes early. I didn't look at her or say anything, i just said thanks to the paralegal and went to the elevator. I walked to the car and didn't look back.

i had to call her and leave a message asking if she has the girls today and tomorrow for the 2-2-3 arrangement. but i was brisk and not drawn out.


So that's my update. it looks like she's the LBS from the way she looks to me. tired and drained, getting upset as the facts come about. i feel sorry for her on a human level, but i know that this is what she wants and she's stubborn so she'll take it all the way through. her parents are cheerleadnig her too.

next meeting is in two weeks. the new agreement is that she will pick them up from the house on her way home from work, which means i'll have small meetings face to face in which to continue acting positive or supporting her if she shares something about work.

today was positive.

but the next meeting will be doom and gloom. that's going to be finances and property. and when she sees what the dissomaster spits out as child and spousal support, she will not be happy.

i need to get ready for that.

thank you all for the help and positivity.


i have a phone interview today, so wish me luck.