Toots, Thanks for checking in on me! Totally agree how the invitation to STBX to talk further could be viewed as pursuit. I justify it, rightly or wrongly, as me planting a seed for her future pursuit if she wants to actually take me up on my offer. Kind of that back and forth dance.
I do want to clarify the marital tape allegation, especially as it could help me get some much needed perspective. STBX told me after BD during a MC session that sometime after the birth of S1 I pressured her into ML when she didn't want to. She does admit that she never asked me to stop during the incident in question. The incident was never discussed and we continued to ML months after the incident, including twice after BD. My STBX does have previous incidents of assault, with which I helped her to begin to deal with early in our R and felt I have been very supportive throughout. Even today, she admits that this only happened once during our R and she knows it is not in my nature.
I obviously take her allegation seriously and I understand that her feelings are paramount here. I can't stress enough that I feel horrible that I made her feel that way, even if not intended. However, a part of me can't help but think she is just using this isolated incident as some justification for her actions. Immediately after I exposed A, she also made other wild, untrue allegations that haven't been brought up since.
Just not sure how I should respond in the future if she continues to bring up this incident...
Last edited by Defacto; 07/27/1505:41 PM.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
