I have finished the initial paperwork for my L and am delivering that to him this week - early this week I presume.
I have some questions that were part of my lost post (and sorry if this is such a disconnected post, but I am on a borrowed computer and pressed for time on it):
This action seems so much like ME blowing up my family - How can I possibly get over this? I do not see any other outcome, but it comes down to my action that will make this happen.
This has been bothering me too - how should I notify WW about this? --should I have a conversation about this - going over the why, how much this hurts, how I wish things were different? Explain it all one last time? This would be for me, not to change the situation.
--should I just have her served?
--other options?
I don't want to create more drama, but I don't want to be perceived as an a-hole or a coward. So I don't know how to achieve all of this.
Note: I also feel like a bit of a failure here too. With this being a pro-marriage forum, I have lost it, and maybe have just turned into a WAH. This really bothers me and I feel like, though I have grown and learned and improved, I have not achieved my goal, and I have wasted everyone's time here. I do appreciate all of the help that I have received from this fine group - I wish I was as wise to help others.
Thank you for being with me.
How can you get over this? Well U ... we joined at the same time, you have been HERE about a year and you have done all you can do. Truth is ... your W had/is having an A and refuses to stop it and focus on the M which was all you ever wanted .. a fighting chance. So at this point, YOU need to do this, for YOU ... its not to punish her its to set you free otherwise W would be more than happy to drag your a$$ through the mud for eterity ... you have gained enough self respect to not allow that to happen any longer, something I have always hoped you would do to be honest.
This is not on you ... you have done all you can and at somepoint... sure this is a pro-M site, but even more its a Pro-Human site and this sitch is not good for you.
I honestly think you are goint to see some serious movement with your W ... and I would not talk, no speech .. just have her served. You have talked enough to this point, Its Action time IMHO
I have always said I think this was what has always been needed for you. I do not think your W wants D, but she is fat and high on cake.
I do fear however that so much time has past that the resentment has built for you ... totally natural I think in this case. I believe you need to cut the tie and take some time for you ... alone and away.
Let your W come to terms with the fact her actions and lack of actions after the fact has lead to this .. its not on you , you have gone above and beyond what anyone should expect a man in your position to do.
