Had a wonderful time with the kids. We went to the circus and the zoo and I just cherished every moment with them.
Had a few phone interactions with STBX. She continues to mention missing me and the family. I validate and share when appropriate. She asked to have breakfast on Sunday morning but I tell her the kids and I already had plans for the zoo. ---- STBX called this morning. She is obviously still conflicted. She started by saying she was sorry. I aloofly asked her for what. She said for how everything fell apart so fast.
She said she just doesn't know how it will turn out. I ask her what she wants to happen. She said she doesn't know and asks me the same question. I respond by saying I'm not so sure either anymore.
She then talked about how she has thought about getting back together many times. She then asks if she could open up to me. I respond affirmatively. STBX says she would have a problem ML because of her marital rape allegation and she couldn't imagine being in a MR like that. I validate her concern, say that I would have some issues too, and mention that if we ever started to work on our relationship again, we would obviously need some help to work through everything. She agrees.
STBX then asked me if I was dating. I kind of laughed and told her that I wasn't ready for that yet and was spending all my energy on the kids. Somewhere in the conversation, I mention that I have learned a lot about myself that I would be able to apply to my next relationship with her or somebody else.
Then, STBX spent a lot of time talking about the group of friends she lost through all this. I just listened and validated. She got emotional recounting the difficulty of her lost friendships. I did say that time can heal a lot of things.
After a little while, I said that I had to run for work but if she wanted to continue this conversation some time to let me know. She tearfully thanked me and said she would. We then said our pleasant goodbyes.
STBX opened up a few times over the weekend but this call was a little more in depth than the previous calls. I plan to pull back a little over the next few days, as I will have the next three nights to myself.
As usual, I will try not to have any expectations. I feel like my best approach here is to be patient and continue to do what I have been doing.
Any feedback or suggestions?
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
