You are right its my perception of unfairness that is causing me the issues here. The picking up this time when usually I am very positive and the unfairness that she has this great life and I don't feel I do even though so much of my life is really good.
A gratitude journal may not be a bad thing, starting with the 6 days a fortnight I do still get to see my kids.
I do need to understand why I was so reticent to back down and just say she was right, it wouldn't have cost me anything. Not doing so was just score keeping on my part and because I didn't want her blaming me for D4 being upset (more score keeping) but she was going to blame me regardless of what I said.
The double standard thing is more frustration that she cant see it rather than score keeping though.
These aren't good habits for any situation though the difference now being with anyone else I would probably get in touch to say something and smooth things out.
Originally Posted By: Toots
The thing to remember about OM1 is - if it wasn't him it would have been someone else.
I know its true but god, its a hideous thought for all that it implies. Because much as I can see her happiness (and I really can), her lack of interest in me if she wasn't would be worse.
And that is the core of all of this, no matter how much I leave her to her life, that I try to detach, that I try to make the best of my life, that i try to respond in the most constructive way, that I try to be the best man and best dad I can be, and so many other things... it doesn't change that I still love her and yet she only sees the negative in me. And that just really blows.
Toots, you really are a great support, its just a shame you can't pop down the M6 and I'd cook you dinner to say thank you.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
