Hey Jim, I'm sorry you had a tough handover. From where I'm sitting, your W reacts in this way because she sees your D hurting and she knows that her recent decisions have contributed towards that. She doesn't want to face that, so it is deflected towards you.
That said, I can see how your response - I wish I could see more of you - could have inflamed things. I don't think it was a terrible response, but it perhaps played into your W's guilt even more. Maybe next time, just validating may be best - 'I know Sweetheart' 'I understand' and so on.
I also think you have have an erroneous perception in respect of your W's life right now. It's all rosy. She and OM have great dates, and a 'new family life.' Well, I can tell you for sure that even if things are rosy right now, it is a glossy veneer. Like gloss paint over a rotting windowsill. R's built on such fragile foundations are precarious at best. And you certainly shouldn't feel like you have been replaced and are peeping through the window of an idyllic life.
As for sitting home alone. I think Zeus is onto something here. I truly understand that you would rather be with the kids all the time. But the fact that you are not brings opportunities - bachelor life! It wasn't what you hoped for, granted. But how can you make the most of this? It sounds as though you may have let GAL slip, and could take the reins a little more in this area.....so let's hear what Jim is going to be getting up to on this front??
I think you are doing so well Jim, and are a lovely presence on this forum. What we all need to recognise is that things play out in their own time. And whilst people blithely say 'it's a marathon' this reflects a reality of many months of little or no movement, and then some more months etc etc. And this is truly why patience is so important.
So, time to start shifting your perspective about their 'fairytale family/hot dates life' and further building up your own life, so that you are living a fulfilling life alone for now.
Take care lovely Jim xx
Last edited by Toots; 07/27/1507:10 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
