I have spent some time thinking about love languages and I thought it might be an idea to find out what love language(s) we and our spouses speak. It will be interesting to see if there is a correlation between the Love Languages and the HD/LD/ND state of mind. The 5 LLs and my brief descriptions are: Words of Affirmation - Giving compliments, saying I love you etc. Acts of Service - Doing the housework, childcare and being helpful generally. Quality Time - Good conversation and shared interests. Physical Touch - Cuddling carressing ML etc. Receiving Gifts - Presents, cards, Valentines, love tokens etc.
To start the survey I am HD My LLs are Words of affirmation Physical touch
My W is LD Her LL's are Receiving gifts Quality time
Me HD
1. Physical Touch (duh)
2. Quality Time
3. Gifts (...and I'm a guy!)
4. Words
5. Service
My LDW (just a guess)
1. Service
2. Quality Time
3. Words
4. Gifts
5. Touch
BUT, she doesn't have a strong need for any of these. She probably needs defibrillator paddles.
I'm the HD wife Physical Touch (including intimate touching)
LD/ND husband Physical Touch also but at a non-intimate level
What's interesting about this is that we both read the book and eliminated all except physical touch when trying to decide each other's LL. We've been in counseling since October and reading the book was an assignment from the counselor. She agreed that we are both physical touch, however, we are on WAY DIFFERENT wave lengths of the same language. My husband would be perfectly content with cuddling and hand holding on the couch 365 days/year. I do enjoy that as well, but I need way more than that!
Yep, read my post below. I have to admit that I laughed when you posted "How to ask for a BJ" (excuse any paraphrasing). My LD/ND husband doesn't even want me to touch him in any sexual way...it would be heaven to have him ASK for a BJ!
I'm LD
mine are
1. Physical touch
2. Words
3. quality time
4. gifts
5. service
Weirdly, gifts can be interchanged with words, espcially since for me the thought seriously does count and I can be just as estactic over an impaginary item as a tangible. Nor does price of item particularly matter, I can be just as excited and remember a glitter heart that my H found on the sidewalk, as I am about flowers, cards, and more expensive gifts like my food processor. What makes the difference is presentation, how well the gift reflects that he knows me, a surprise something that I've wanted for ages but hadn't mentioned in a while, and how connected and loved I felt. My H will also do acts of service that I recieve as gifts, filling the gas tank, peeling and bringing me fruit, fixing something. Acts of service mostly translate as appreciated and proof that he's a decent human being, but don't really fill the tank. They do make it worth my while to fight for a great fullfilling, incredibly wonderful marriage.
H is Not HD nor is he LD.
His LL are
1. Acts of service
2. physical touch
3. quality time
4. words - distant
5. gifts - way low
Some days I really wish my H were HD, it would make things much easier to get my libido back.
SuperDave, please don't be offended by this... I thought I'd go ahead and plot the results for you... I'm a visual kid. I'll follow along and update the results as people contribute ok?
LL Survey results as of Sunday 14th March 2004
Contributors so far:
SuperDave
Aquarian
CeMar
Dave36
COgal
morninglory (your H was not plotted because you did not label him as LD or HD)
I couldn't place an image here for some reason... so I'll keep this link up to date.
