I see how difficult things must be for you and in some many ways. I wish there was something that i can do to help.
In some ways I agree entirely with everything that V, RD and Toots have said even if that sounds contradictory.
Your XH is lost and desperately sad. He is also manipulative and source of great pain to you Pink and your boys. He is also a grown man, capable of making his own decisions and own choices, as you well know from the damage he has done.
Crucially he is not your responsibility.
Forget he is their father - if anyone else upset your boys in the way he does, how would you feel about that?
But he is your boys father, and your XH and from what I know of you from your posts, you still love him and wouldn't wish him any harm.
There is a balance to be had and i feel it involves his family, no matter the distance. He wont listen to you (or he's trying to manipulate you) either way, you arent the one who can help him. and you need to be there for yourself and your boys and you can't do that if you take on XH's pain.
His family needs to help him, you need to tell them what you know and you need to explain that you cannot help. And if he is upset that you involve his family, well its not like he can divorce you a second time
Take care of yourself Pink. Until your XH is willing to take responsibility for himself and his life then you need to be free from his chaos - That is the key part of X.
I hope you had a good weekend
((((Pink))))
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
