This is my personal opinion from where I'm sitting:

1) not getting a divorce means he has an excuse to not marry the ow if she puts pressure on him to wed;
2) not getting a divorce means that he's not sure what he wants and you are right where he left you just in case he needs a Plan B;
3) He figures that if you are still there, then somewhere deep inside of him knows that the connection isn't broken and he can still rely on you to listen, validate and be there as a friend; and
4) He knows that if you divorce, there is a very good chance that you will meet someone new and just maybe remarry. BTW, they do have this quirky little thought process that even though they do not want to be w/you right now, they still don't want anyone else to have you either.

They are very selfish individuals and do not want to see us happy even though they say they do. As for friendship...it is usually one sided...their side.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.