Well rough start today I backslid and let my anger about him not being responsible enough to at least drop the bank card off so I could get gas. After I calmed down I realized I am not angry with him I am angry at myself for giving him the card knowing at this point he only cares about his needs. I should have done the responsible thing and only gave him x amount in cash so I did not have to rely on him. Lesson learned. I am starting to realize how opposite he is of even the beggining of our relationship this last time. All he cares about is himself and his own needs/wants. The kids and I do not even compare to that. Of course It has usually been all about the kids and I so it is a huge change in his behavior. Also all of this spending extra time with OW is a change but It is probably due to my behavior not changing. So I am doing my best to follow Zeus's thoughts. I think part of my moodiness is stress from the upcoming 20 hours of overtime I am working this week. (I am working an extra 28 hours which is almost double my hours) Plus dealing with this situation and not seeing any immediate changes. I need to learn to let it all go and realize he is not the same person he is in a whole new world far far away!
