It is a given that you don't believe anything that your WAS says and 50% of their actions, but what about your grown up children? If they are saying to give it up and go and find someone else because your WAS, that they are in reasonably consistent contact with, has "moved on and you'd be better off without her"?
What does "moving on" look like to you? Do you believe you are capable of a healthy relationship with someone else yet?
