Sorry to find you here on this forum. I can only imagine the intensity of your pain, but I'm few months ahead of you and does get better.
The pain lessens with time. I am no expert, nor have the experience of the vets here, but I think you could do with stepping back and let your wife do what she thinks she wants to do.
Sorry to say that but what she does is out of your hand at the moment. Also I don't mean to be rude, but reading your last post made me think that you were showing yourself as desperate when you asked her those questions.
My H said that me talking about his A made him uncomfortable when he comes around. I have stopped doing it, and few times we have been able to crack a joke.
It's only my experience but don't engage with her when she comes round to pick up her stuff as I feel it only reinforce her view that she has made the right decision.
Hang in there, it will take time but you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
