I keep reading Sandi's list and reading my DR book. I brought both to work to keep in my locker so they aren't found at home. One of the things in the book said during the 180, when you change something keep track of changes in the interactions. With as bad as my memory is right now, I bought a planner book so that everytime I change something I can log his changes. Like for instance. He had been angry with me for a while and the other day he kept at it and I told him that I was sorry he felt that way. However, when he felt like having a discussion with me feel free to text me and if I am available I would talk to him and ended the conversation. About 2 hours later his attitude changed and we started talking. I realized that everytime I tried to defend myself it made matters worse and why did I need to do defend anything about what I am doing to him. Then last night he asked me what was bugging me. I told him nothing why and he said I seemed odd. Hello donkeys butt, I stopped all questions about R and her and everything. We have been talking off and on since.
I realized today that I don't NEED him in my life, I Want him in my life. Too me that is a big change. I also know, no matter what happens, I will be just fine and so will my children.
Me 44 H 46 3 DD 22, 18, 15 1 DS 2.5 M 10/1992 BD1 2/2014 BD 2 7/19/2014 Moved in with OW 7/20/2014
