i went on friday afternoon and it was very, very eye opening. it makes me concerned for the civility of the mediation meeting monday, because as it came out in the computer program, she'll have to pay me a considerable amount of money in child support and spousal support as it stands now.
the lawyer suggested some tactics and suggestions and how to use that to leverage more security for keeping the house, but again, it's going to be an interesting meeting.
i plan to stand up not so much to 'get what's mine' but more to say, "look, we agreed to work together for the rest of our lives and build a future. we have children that need stability and security. i am not going to hand over what we built together as if i contributed nothing to it. i worked just like you, often more like 16 hours a day, and weekends. i am not going to roll over on this."
of course i will say it calmly and with as much validating non confrontational language as possible. but the sentiment will be there.
as far as GALing, i've joined a swing dancing group, sea kayaking group, and a divorce group via meetup.com. i don't dance, and i have no rhythm. so it'll be interesting. when/if my wife finds out i imagine it will make her more irritated that i didn't do these things years ago. i don't think i'm doing them to impress her, i just really need something to do and it sounds interesting and totally out of the ordinary for me.
a bonus is that if i can one day rekindle something with her i'll be able to take her out and ask her to wear the dress i got her in 2006 or 07 that i don't thing she ever wore because i never took her anywhere it could be worn.
and a question for you veterans. in my last post i mentioned that she said i 'seemed happier than i ever have lately.' my concern is that this is validating her idea that i am better off without her. that i am finally happy and that i can move on to be with someone else who is better for me. i am positive, working on eye contact the rare times i see her, and dressing nice and being confident. so is it evidence of LRT working, or validating her ideas that i am so much happier without her? she is obviously noticing, but not by seeming attracted, more by seeming validated in her decision to leave.
what do you think?
M36,W34 T18 years M9 years D3,D6 W "doesn't want to be married anymore"6/14/15 ILYBNILWY6/2015 W moves to parents house 6/30/15 W removes wedding band 7/3/15 My ring back on 8/8/15 Served 8/11/2015.
