TLEE86 Part IV

[TLEE86]

I want to send this to her...it hurts so much right now.
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i hate you. I hate you so much. You abandoned us. Me, the dogs. Everything. It was so easy for you to just walk away from it all. From everything we have ever shared. From our house, our dogs, our car, everything. And you ran away to somebody else. And it was so easy for you. To forget about everything. To just leave us all behind.

Im the one that has to deal with looking at our stuff everyday. our furniture, our dogs, everything. even the small things we bought together when you were here in texas. you don't have to be reminded of anything. just your new life.

We both came into this relationship with nothing. And we built everything we own together, through blood sweat and alot of tears, both happy and sad. But you [censored] left me. You left everything behind. And its me that has to try and heal myself, to heal this broken family. I gave everything I ever had to this marriage. But you left. And its me that has to deal with everything.

I tried so hard. To be what you needed me to be. But i just wasn't enough. I hate you so much. for doing this to me, to us, to our dogs, to our family.

I always asked you if you would ever leave, if i died in afghanistan what would you do, where you would go. if you'd ever get over me. And you always said no you'd never get over me, that you'd buy a house somewhere and live by yourself with our dogs and just be there. That it would take you forever to get over me. But now i know thats false, that it took you 3 months while I was gone to get over me. To move on. And I'm left to pick up the pieces.

All I wanna do is never wake up again. i have no friends and family here. everyone here is just an acquaintance that i cant even talk to about anything serious. the one friend i have here, the one good friend that knows whats going on, is leaving on monday to go to georgia and he wont be back. you say you were alone, you don't know the meaning of being alone. This is alone. me, myself, and our dogs with our furniture knowing you aren't coming back. knowing that i just congratulated you on your car and will not hear from you.

I hate you so much. But in reality i know i don't. I love you. And theres nothing i can do about it.