Need advice for a WW who left

[Vanilla]

I think if WW lets the kids down its her bag.

Let it happen, then go get a fun pizza for all of you.

V

[dwh15]

Point taken. So basically, I should be prepared for dinner regardless, assuming that she may cancel at any minute. Then if it gets past 7pm (the usual pick-up time) with no word, then I'm free to do whatever I want with the kids since she pulled a no-show. Guess I can try that, although it certainly does make it difficult to set plans. Suppose that's what I have to deal with right now, having a WW living in la-la land.

[Vanilla]

Point taken. So basically, I should be prepared for dinner regardless, assuming that she may cancel at any minute. Then if it gets past 7pm (the usual pick-up time) with no word, then I'm free to do whatever I want with the kids since she pulled a no-show. Guess I can try that, although it certainly does make it difficult to set plans. Suppose that's what I have to deal with right now, having a WW living in la-la land.

Absolutely. family GAL, her loss.

V

[dwh15]

Journaling: WW calls the home phone last night and I let it go to VM. She then calls my cell, and the kids are still with her, so I pick it up. Turns out S8 was thinking about spending the night but wanted to talk to dad. He still struggles with the decision and hasn't stayed with mom that often, but I could tell he wanted to and was feeling guilty, so I spent around 5 minutes reassuring him that it was fine. It seemed to cheer him up and he did end up staying.

This morning, WW sends a text that he had bad allergies and she actually got him to swallow a regular allergy pill. That's a big step, since he usually takes the kid stuff in liquid form. I sent a single reply saying "Our boy is growing up. Tell him dad is proud." Couple minutes later, WW replies "He giggled". So I feel pretty good about that, as it was strictly child related, and for me, somewhat of a 180. One of WWs complaints was that I never said anything positive to the kids, always criticism. Did I do alright?

[HurtJef]

DWH

I have been following your sitch a bit. I think you are doing a great job. In my mind, you are reinforcing that you are a great dad to your kids. That is always good. Also, if it is a 180 from before, then that is even better. Just make sure you are doing it for yourself and the kids. If your WW notices, thats a bonus. No expectations.

[dwh15]

Thanks Jeff. WW dropped off S8 about an hour ago. I had asked her to give me a heads up before dropping him off so I was prepared, but she didn't. She came in the house, said Hi to all the other boys, spent a few minutes looking for some crib sheets that we used to have, since she has a friend who needs them, and then left. It was all very pleasant. She seemed in a good mood, I was smiles and talkative, but after she left, I felt like I got punched in the gut. The face to face interactions are still hard.

Oh, she also gave me a 1-arm hug as she was leaving. Took me by surprise so I reciprocated also 1-arm, but not sure if that was smart or not. I never initiate but how should I be responding when she initiates stuff like that?

[Sotto]

Hi dwh, the advice on hugs is - pretend it's Grandma - and you can't go too far wrong..

T :-)

[Vanilla]

Grandma has a beard and hatpins.

But only on tuesdays

V

[dwh15]

V, hah! That is one scary grandma image. So friendly hugs are OK, as long as she initiates. Got it. Funny how it's settled down from a few weeks ago, where we were doing full bear hugs and even quick kiss on the lips. I put a stop to that after I realized it was full-on cake eating. Since the blowout on money, she hasn't really tried it either, although I did give her a big full hug the other day, when she was in tears and on the verge of leaving OM. She just looked so pitiful and scared I couldn't help myself. Lesson learned though - I won't be doing that again.

[Fogg]

Yeah, comforting them on anything OM related isn't a good idea. They got themselves into that situation, they can deal with it.