Taking my ring off was hard. I still have the indentations on my finger from where it sat for 20 years. My ring was nothing special, just a band with some small diamonds on the outside. I think it was called an eternity band. We had talked about getting new ones for our 20th anniverssary.
When our kids were born, I got the Mommy necklace with their names, birthdates and gemstone. I wear them around my neck and never take it off. My kids love to see me wear the charms and comment on them always. I always say, see I have you right next to my heart every day.
My W never did that. Never got a mothers ring, a necklace, nothing. I think I mentioned earlier too when she lost her wedding rings, I flipped out an turned the house upside down to locate them. W could not have cared less.
Looking back, I can now see all of this for what is really was. She just was't into any of this, marriage, family, minivan, none of it. She has told me so "Look the marriage was just better for you than it was for me".
I feel sorry for her now, she never really "got it" what it meant to be married, and to raise a family. She just didn't. Maybe she thought she did at one point, but now she doesn't. Does that make her a bad person, no, but just someone who I thought I knew. I never really did truly know her it appears.
I guess we never really know who people are.
As for getting to a civil and pleasant place, good for you. I know you can do it. For me, meh.
