A new thread - My W's OW, the Predator

[DifRent]

Zues and Toots... thanks for your thoughts and your support, as always. I think I really just posted these emails because it's part of my story - like a flashback that provides even more context. I've only seen a handful of emails - and I find them enlightening more than disturbing. Had I seen them two months ago? They'd have ripped me apart. W and OW are together all the time now, so I'm sure there's no need for them to email each other much.

At the same time, it might seem from what I post on this board that I'm waiting around, but I'm really not. It's just that this board serves two purposes for me: one, it's where I can vent. I've decided that in my real life, I'm done talking about all this. This past week I was detached from the situation and from her more than ever, even as she called and pursued. And two: this is where I keep hope alive. In my real world, no one thinks R is possible, and I struggle more to imagine R as a possibility than I do to accept it's likely not going to happen.

I've not only accepted that my W might well move on and make a whole new life with the OW, but that's exactly what she's doing at the moment. I hate it, but I can't deny it. I don't see the OW as a "bad guy" or someone who deserves hell. I see her for what she is: a lonely relationship poacher who took advantage of my W, and I am so disappointed in my W who let herself be swayed so easily. I see myself as terribly wronged but also as someone who clearly should have done more to make our relationship impervious to poaching. I didn't, and I regret that. And I know I have a lot of work to do on myself ahead.

Have I let WW go? No. I can't say I completely have. I'm not even three months into this mess. I know I have to, and I know I will. But for now, letting her go is a process, not an action. I'm moving through it... with the help of all of you. Really, these emails weren't a setback. It actually helps me to confirm what I've believed all along.

As for WW discovering this? Well... I know what happened to Matt was terrible. But I can't see any discovery of this board being the thing that derails any potential R. At this point, it's a long shot anyway. I kind of don't care if she finds this. That's a form of detachment, eh?