Co dependency H Affair poor boundaries oh My

[Zues126]

Some very insightful posts. Make sure to reread these posts a few times. You'd think it's impossible to forget, but with everything on your mind it's hard to keep these thoughts at the front.

So the pattern is that you continue to expect your WAH to act differently than he has for many months and years, then feel betrayed when he doesn't. And then instead of changing anything yourself, you bottle the pain, and throw yourself back at him and hope THIS is the time he does things differently, with each new 'betrayal' hurting more because it's on top of old wounds and you feel he doesn't understand the depths of the pain you've endured in the name of love for him. Finally you can't take it anymore so you try to force him to change his behavior by blowing up at him. This in turn just allows him to dismiss you like you're crazy and drives him away farther.

Brutal pattern. If there's one thing I want you to see it's that continuing to recommit to someone that keeps hurting you isn't an act of love...it's an act of dependence and laziness. You're not recommitting simply because you love him. You're recommitting because you've been too lazy to pull your crap together and take full responsibility for your own life, happiness, and emotions.

Would you agree with this pattern? Any adjustments to that summary? And more importantly- how might you be able to break that pattern?

Keep posting. This is the beginning of a tough road, but it can't be tougher than the road you've been walking and will get you somewhere you want to be for sure.