Signing the Big D - What to do Next?

[Sotto]

Hi lovely P. I would think carefully about your IC's words and be mindful of them in anything you decide to do. I'm particularly concerned about your H's potentially suicidal comments, and agree that you may want to take due steps to support him, given your long history together and that he is father of your kids.

However, I think you need to question your own motives for wanting to take these steps right before you D. Do you at some level feel - if only he realised he were depressed and would see an IC, perhaps we could still save our M? If you are in any way feeling that - I worry you would be setting yourself up for disappointment, as I don't see him being at the stage where he can maturely introspect and move positively forward in a R with you.

I was also concerned at your plan to accompany him to an IC appointment? To me, that is the kind of thing a W would do, and not someone who is about to D. IF you are really concerned, perhaps you could offer to drive him to an appt and then go get yourself a coffee. But that is the most I would do.

So, I think the message from all posters seems to be - proceed with caution. Yes, offer some support appropriate to the circumstances. However, remain clearly aware of your own motives and only offer assistance from a place of compassionate detachment.

Just my thoughts for what they are worth sweetheart. Good luck with whatever you do decide to do. xx