Caliguy thanks for stopping by. I have read both DR and DB i am working back through DR at this time. I re-read over the affair parts the other day. I truly am trying and I understand this is going to be one hel! of a hard road. You are right I am showing it is ok to have both. Not at all what I want to show. I need to detatch 100% and just not let him bother me. I feel like I have GAL this week. I went from sitting at home moping all day after work everyday to Monday took girls to D7's moms without him (hence the fight) Tuesday nothing. Wednesday worked and then helped him in the garage (one of his complaints is that I do not ever go out there) Thursday IC, park with D7 & 8, then races an hour away. He drove truck and trailer with friend I left half hour later with D8. He went to pits with car and we went to stands. He text me where he started and I simply said good luck and we are proud of. Tonight I came home relaxed 3 hours took D8 to fair and subway he is out fishing with same friend and his dad. Now home ready for bed. Next week I am working 52 hours (20 more than usual). I am sure I will not feel like doing anything after working that much housework kids and meals. I will be ready for early bed but that will leave him to take care of kids. I did ask him to watch my daughter this weekend as I am working extra hours he agreed even though I did not think he would. my 180 for today is when he started saying he hasnt seen OW in a while I started to say you just saw her thursday and wanted to argue but instead I just said nevermind I need to go bye and hung up! No need to argue. I did let him give me a long hug today as he offered and then he said he would make time next week to do something together. I didnt argue. he thanked me for all I do. Thanks again Cali I can use all the help I can get
