I toldThis really should have been "We Told" my D9 about the D last night. Soo painful. I made sure W would be present to see the pain she is inflictingonn her children by her selfish and deliberate actions. W held D9 as D9 cried and all she could muster was "we are so sorry!". Not "sorry I have caused all of this with my selfish actions and am pushing for D", but "sorry we are all going through this difficult time right now", as if it is an unfortunate circumstance beyond all of our control, like cancer or a death in the family.
RAI ... this is throwing 100% of the blame and shame on W, might be how you feel and I get it ... but no matter how bad a M is or the D goes ... not the kids fault and BOTH parents need to own their stuff, we can not control the WAS nor if they own theirs .. but we surely can own ours, keep our sides of the street clean ... this is screaming one-sided its all her fault look what she is doing to you D9 .. like you are trying to get her on YOUR side here, regardless of the circumstances, the kids need BOTH parents in their lives
Cali and V,
I am trying very hard not to alienate W. The quote above is what I was thinking, after the fact. I did not verbalize anything of the sort and I most certainly did not show it. We both were there for D9 and D9 went between me and W the whole time, hugging each of us, while crying. It would have been much worse to tell D9 without W present, no? Also, what I said was based on what MWD advised. See my thread for more details. I had practiced it for weeks before saying it.
There is a huge difference between what I feel and what I said and how I acted. I know I have a lot of anger and bitterness to process, and that is what I need to work on.
Just to clarify. there are more details on my thread. Sorry for Hijacking, Heavy.
