Hi Pink, I'm sorry to hear your H is in a bad way. I partly agree with RD, in that he is a grown man and will seek help if he needs it. That said, one of my own worst fears is not being there for my H when he needs it and him taking his own life. It's an irrational fear I know, and perhaps stems from previous experience with my brother.

I read recently that middle age men are actually in a higher risk group than young men in terms of suicide. I think there is only so much you can do for your H. But to me it seems reasonable to say that whilst you accept the M may be over, you are concerned for how unhappy he seems in himself, and encourage him to see his doctor.

If he is in MLC, it is possible that he is coming out of the replay stage into depression. Or it may be that facing the end of your M is difficult and he is finding it hard to cope with that.

The only thing I would say is that - alongside concern for him, you need to have concern for you. So, please remain aware that he may not have much to offer you right now, and try not to cross the line from 'concerned friend' into 'wife.'

I think you are right to try and do the right thing by him though. Whilst our spouses have put many of us through a great deal, we love them and don't want to see them in difficulty. Good luck Pink, and I hope you have a lovely weekend xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus