New here.

[raliced]

Little1-

have you spoken to an attorney at all? If you haven't, I would encourage you to do so (many will give a free initial consultation).

Here is why I ask. Believe me, I completely get your angst about having the kids around OW. My STBX also moved in with his OW immediately, lied to me for months about his living situation and exposed the kids to her right away. Now I get to hear my 3 year old talk about her all the time. It stinks.

However, should your situation ever start going towards divorce, (and I hope it doesn't), your H will will most likely be awarded some custody all the way up to 50% and you will have no say about where he takes them or who they hang out with unless there is something criminal going on.

You don't want to give him the opportunity in court to say that you have been keeping his son from him or alienating him. I understand that isn't what you are trying to do - but the courts have their own way of looking at things. So, if you haven't already - get some legal advice on how to avoid any potential landmines that could arise later.

FWIW - I think it's positive that he hasn't moved forward with anything legal yet. And I'm sure that drives the OW crazy and probably feed some insecurity, which may be why she tries to dictate things that happen with your kids.

Hang in there.

[little1]

I have spoken to an attorney and per their advise I keep track of every time he sees the kids and for how long.

Yousaidd you think it's positive h hadn't moved towards divorce. May I ask you why that is?

I got out my DR/DB books.again. I noticed the original "change" in him wwas when I was doing the 180. Opposite of everything. It's back to that.

[little1]

When I read about MLC it was/is like he is readinga manuscript. It fits him to a "T"

[little1]

Ughh. I got up this morning to 2 teext messages and an email from h from last night. The texts were simple nothing specialbibut the e-mail.

"I guess your out moving on with your life. I guess I Will talk to you when you can find the time or have it for a friend".

I didn't respond because that's what he is looking for. But what does he want?

I make assumptions andh e gets angry but he can make them about me??

[little1]

He texted our dd18 today and asked if I was mad at him because i was ignoring him. She simply responded "should she be?" Now he is waiting for me to text him. Not going to.

[little1]

I have sat here and read alot of posts. Its so hard to believe there are so many of us going through this. Day 4 of no contact. I know he is cycling and it is what it is.

Reading these posts I do have to wonder.
I cant tell if i am one of the lucky or unlucky ones. I have contact. Except when he is cycling. That goes to a hit and miss. Usually about the time that I am doing better not talking he pops back up.

I went to a friends house last night and we sat and watched a movie. I havent seen a movie in a while just because I cant concentrate on it and will do activities that I have no choice but to concentrate on or I mess them up. It was nice to be able and sit and talk to someone. He even said my H is confused and doesnt know what he is doing.

I am working on detatching. That is hard. I feel like I am giving up completely but I know I am not.

[lonelee]

Little1, I agree that concentrating is very difficult theses days everything brings me back to the situation or wondering what he's up to. I am trying to fill the void with friends and family but at work and night is the worst. I too have some contact witch I try to keep fun and R conversation free. detaching is difficult at this point I try to keep myself from texting but I am afraid he will forget me and move farther away emotionally . I need to take pride in myself when I get thru days with no txts and no contact either way but it's so hard. Give me strength and give me advice. i'm all eyes and ears. thanks all. good luck to you little1 i'm here if you need me.

[little1]

He is angry because I didn't answer those messages. This anger bought has gone on for so long now. I dint know what to do other than validate his feelings

[little1]

I do have a question and yes I know I am not suppose to readanything into a what he is doing or saying.

I was reading other post and in piecing section I noticed a lot of people have said it gets worse before it gets better..

So my question is

How did you know you were at the worst?
How did you get through it?
Am I possibly tat the worse part?

[CaliGuy]

I do have a question and yes I know I am not suppose to readanything into a what he is doing or saying.

I was reading other post and in piecing section I noticed a lot of people have said it gets worse before it gets better..

My advice ... don't go into the piecing section, you are just starting to crawl here, you have to DB first and reading your sitch you are no where near piecing ... the advice there is FAR different there and will do you no good, only confuse things more.

So my question is

How did you know you were at the worst?

I will speak for myself here ... I did'nt ... you never know where rock bottom is till you start climbing out of it and look down and realize .. "wow ... that was way down there, and it $ucked" Because when you are there you think .. ok this can not get any worse .. and sometimes it just does.

How did you get through it?

Day by day ... by learning and focusing on myself, really GAL, detach, 180, and PMA .. they all are connected to each other and feed off of one another.

Am I possibly tat the worse part?

You will not know till you move away from it ... things may get worse, that's the reality ... or they may in fact get better. Truth of it is .. you are 'here' now ... you control you and can decide what to do with all this, the ball is truly in your court on that one.