Sorry this happened dcjal, my story was very similar but I have kids and her emotional affair was with a coworker. I would recommend that you not confront her because it won't help.
You will expect her to be apologetic and sad but she will not be, and that will only add to your anger and make things worse for you.
Right now she's getting her emotional comfort and support from this other guy, so if you light into her it's only going to push them closer together and make you more of an outsider.
We are conditioned by books and movies to believe that a spouse caught cheating will be remorseful and beg for forgiveness and we imagine that it will feel great to have our wayward spouse in that place after all they've done to us. In reality they most often get belligerent and accusatory when confronted which just makes everything worse.
You will not find the peace you seek through confrontation unfortunately.
"Snooping" is *very* addictive and it keeps your focus 100% on your wayward wife which isn't going to do you any favors. As much as it [censored] your best bet is to turn your attention elsewhere and stop looking at the mobile bills and the credit card receipts.
She's going to "do her thing" no matter what you do, say, or feel about it. She doesn't need your permission or your blessing, which is a difficult thing to get your head around in the context of a relationship that used to be a partnership. It's not anymore, and the old rules don't apply.
Keep doing what you're doing. You have 0.0% chance to make this better while she is under the spell of an emotional affair. All you can do is last resort technique and ride it out. It will eventually end and at that point if you're still interested you can start to make inroads but for now it's a waiting game.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
