Thanks everyone for the replies. Been having a very hard time of it today. As much as I tried not to have hope, the thought of her leaving OM had set in and given me false hope. I feel I had been doing well but this has definitely set me back a few weeks. I need to throw myself back into LRT and GAL. Already have plans with family this weekend so that will help.

Mahhhty, thanks so much for jumping in. I've been thinking a lot about the last couple of days and how I responded. For the last few weeks, I actually had been doing quite well, texting only about kid issues, never initiating, etc. When WW called on Wed, I figured it was something to do with kids, as it was her night to take them, and she had not actually called me in quite a while. As soon as I heard her in tears, it was hard not to want to comfort her. I was trying to walk the line between being supportive in her time of need but still staying detached. I thought I pulled it off, we talked for a few and I validated her feelings like crazy, but in hindsight, I probably would have been better off not even taking the call. After we spoke, she even came by the house so I could check her tire pressure before leaving town. I agreed to do it out of concern, and one of the tires was extremely low. I never know where to draw the line - I don't want her getting stranded on the side of the road. Was that too nice? I also gave her money for gas, again probably not a great idea. I agree - I am enabling her. I think I was so excited at the fact she might actually be leaving OM that I was doing everything in my power to help her along that path.

Well, I learned a hard lesson and won't be making the same mistakes again. As everyone pointed out, the R between those 2 is toxic and bound to eventually fall apart. It was obvious from Day 1 that neither of them is in an emotional or mental state to carry on a healthy, long term R. I've heard before: hurt attracts hurt, broken attracts broken. They are both hurting and broken. The next time things fall apart, I'm making myself unavailable to talk, or help her in any way. It may be hard, but I think that's what she needs to feel, and it will be better for me. I hate that I set myself up on this and slid back so far.


Me 47 W 42
T 24 yrs M 18 yrs
W living with OM
BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1)
BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out)
WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015.
Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.