Who was in the tunnel anyways?

[AJM]

Hey Cali. Dropped in to say hello. Hello.

Seems things are moving along. I think it's important that you answered uR's question about what you want. It's important to know that. To live it. And it leads to the next question - what does your W want from your perspective? I can guess, but it seems a good time to ask.

Keep in mind, this is a point in time question. What I mean is, what your W wants right now may not be as fully developed as what you want. And of course, the essence of a relationship is to grow (change) together. Knowing the above answer is really just a way of seeing the synergies and areas to work on. Because a relationship is about coming together and working through things.

From what I can see, you are both working through things. It seems to be picking up speed, which is nice to hear and see. You also seem to be working through the past, but I have to say its a good sign to see you don't want to keep living there. That's encouraging.

I point that out because you still want to go faster by the look of it, no? And who wouldn't? But you seem to be right where you need to be to learn what you need to learn. All three of you.

I'm also struck by some of the posts and how easy it would be to become a despot of a man in this situation. To make her "pay" for the past under the guise of rebuilding trust. That would be an easy step where you are right now. Be watchful of that.

I still think that no matter what comes next, you are growing and learning all about yourself. You have the gift of learning about her and growing with her. That's incredibly valuable, Cali. Don't lose sight of that

Best of luck with what comes next. There will be more challenges, but you seem to have the tools to deal with them. I suspect she is quickly building the same although she seems to have farther to go. That's really nice to see her put that effort into her life and yours.

Peace,
AJ