The "Don't we have some big questions to settle" line is most definitely initiating a 'R' talk ... plus its applying pressure ... basically implying that you want a firm line in the sand commitment to the M in order to plan the trip. (This may be what you really want but SHE needs to give that gem up on her own with a "I'll do whatever it takes" line first.
I would opt for Raliced's line of "That doesn't work for me right now" as it comes from a place of strength and confidence.
