"That is all that seems to be standing in the way of us forging a new marriage or heal8ng our relationship."

Hi West 1, I'm not suggesting that you are minimising 'that' - but do remain aware that it is probably a huge thing to overcome in her mind. It is common for people who have had A's (whether an EA or PA) to downplay the impact on their spouse.

Add into the mix, that her previous partner cheated on her, and 'that' becomes even bigger. Have you read what MWD says a spouse needs following an A. It is somethere in DR - probably in the infidelity chapter.

For me, it feels like a great leap to feel safe again entrusting my heart to someone - be it H or a new person. And to be cheated on again would be a fear for me. Perhaps that will lessen in time, I don't know.

Sorry, this post isn't supposed to be all about me. I'm just trying to convey some of what your W may be feeling.

Good luck with things, Toots :-)

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus