I have been at that VERY mediation table ... TWICE.
Sounds like the same thing we had, we had an initial consultation, basically a meet and greet explaining the process. My W asked me what I though and I told her the truth, felt like a dirve thru-D process and I could see how the Mediation Company was out for the quick buck ... not what I wanted but I respected her decision .... was a year of back and forth till Mar15
Jan-Mar 2015 My first meeting was solo (Mid Jan2015), I had all my docs signed and prepared ... ready to go. At that point I dropped the rope and was prepared to move on I think this caught W offgueard as she was still dragging feet and did not have her docs ready .... as Starsky suggested .. GET COUNSEL, I had 2 free sessions and was well informed to what my rights were. Not only was I going to settle for nothing less than 50/50 custody, my M was 14 years at that point, W made more and would be paying me Child support and alimony if I CHOSE to push for that. Honestly I did not want/need her money but thought about my S and decided .. the D and her A were not my idea nor did I feel I should allow S to pay for that (even though he would in many ways) so I decided I would in fact press for those things, I would set that $$ aside for S .. college/trips.
At the Med table the lawyer talked me about a few things, I told her where I stood and she tried to push back a bit, well I was not budging and she told me mediation was gear towards a mutual agreement and I told her I was well aware of that, but also well aware of what the state would award and that I was willing to negotiate but not lay down and be taken ... I would L up if need be. After she understood my intentions and why ... she asked me a question about the D, I told her honestly I did not want it but at that time felt W needed it to move on and figure out herself and what she really wanted. This left that woman speechless and she commented on how insightful my statement was and how often she has witnessed that very thing.
I left feeling good about everything ... looking forward to the next chapter. We had a final meeting that was scheduled, post-poned, rescheduled 3-4 times ... then W asked me to meet up and disclosed she did not want D, wanted to work on the M.
Mediation is not the end all ... not saying your W will have that turn around .. but I am saying get your ducks in a row, protect yourself ... sitting and reading, watching TV working on a house you are about to lose will not protect YOU nor your kids from your side. If you just stall .. it will appear that way and will not gain you respect from your W, it will possibly delay the process but its not going to get you any closer to saving your M .... the ball is already rolling and you have a choice to direct it some ... or let it roll over you.
