Help and support appreciated

[West1]

I felt like I backslid a ton.

I basically begged her to consider giving me another chance last night.

Said i finally gave up, and she wuld hav to deal with this stuff every day anymore.

Told me dont take any decisions from me, THEY ARE MY DECISIONS TO MAKE. Thinking I was going to do something drastic.

It was more finally getting to the real root of the problem. No matter what I change, how strongly we feel, or committed to each other we seem to be, I cant change the past. She cannot let go of it. That is all that seems to be standing in the way of us forging a new marriage or heal8ng our relationship.

I pulled back. I didnt text her other than in response to her text this morning. Normally I would txt every morning at 555, a lil game we always played for 3 digit tim3s to see who would get the next one.

Then she made a request in txt later this morning to take pics of our twin d1s,with a thank you after, since she has been working last three days and hasnt been hom3 before they were in bed.

Was working and didnt respond. Then got this txt"so, do you think its going to be just the other extreme now , like before we talk a lot and now nothing ? I wish there was an in between."

I responded with," I feel the more I talk, the closer to you I get, and the harder it is to keep a safe emotional distance, without overwhelming myself with feelings of the past."

Also am trying not to pursue, keep physical contact to supportive not sexual, and not trying to kiss, hug, hold hands, since it seems like that just leads to us having sex, she has initiated sex twice since she has been home, and I did once.