Hello

[714Dad]

I want to ask for some early advice.

This monday will be the first of two mediator meetings. They last two hours and i think they are about dividing things and coming to understandings. this is where she'll file the divorce papers.

I have a packet to fill out that has things like pay and all that. i don't really know what it has since i haven't taken any of the papers out, only glanced at them.

should I fill it out, or 'make her do the work for the divorce'?

a problem with the not doing it approach is that in the past she was the one to fill out forms and turn them in. i never did applications, forms, school admin stuff because i always felt anxiety with them. in the last year i took over most of those things so she didn't have to do them anymore. freeing her to work and be more focused at work.

so if i fill out the forms i'll be acting better and more balanced and giving her what she wants. but if i don't it will make the weight of the divorce go to her (which seems fair since she wants it).

i could not fill it out and then in the meeting explain calmly and while validating her feelings that i simply don't have time to do it? she won't likely believe that but i am still taking care of the house and animals and reading a lot. every time i try to sit and watch tv i can't concentrate on it anyway, so i'm definitely not vegging out all evening.

i'm reading all of the threads linked by cadet? wonka? and those take a long time to get through. i'm also reading DB and doing some GAL stuff (walks in the evening, hikes, signing up for divorce groups, going to lectures, etc.). and doing the math for setting up two rooms to rent in my house. so it's not easy to find time for something i don't want to do to begin with.

so advice? should i fill the divorce mediation packet out (acting more like the new me - independent and responsible), or should i let her do it (more the me she detached from three years ago)?