WAS or what (2)

[roist]

I snooped again. Yesterday she replied to a question of how she was by: as I told you the other day my housesharing is following its path. This was followed by an unhappy Smiley.

I am not overly affected by such stuff, partly because I already know she us unhappy and partly because I follow the rule of not believing everything.

But I am affected by the situation in general. Her side and mine.

Regarding my W, apart from complaining to friend she does nothing to improve/change things. She has not dropped a verbal bomb and nine months ago I pushed her on and off to tell me what she was thinking. She is to get back to me. I backed off, gave her time. In the meantime I found this place and follow the no R talk rule. Although money is tight and limits our options she could drop the bomb, she could move into spare room, she could go to her parents.

On my side I accept and am trying to resolve my part in getting us here. But I have let us drift and stay in a sex starved marriage. I have now seemingly accepted our roommate status. I have not but it must appear that way. This seems to me to be more of the same behaviour

I came across DR and then this site after viewing Michelle's WAS video. It described everything perfectly.

I am tempted to have a R talk with W. Not to convince her to stay or express my feelings. But just to do something different. To take charge of the situation rather than watch it. I imagine I would state something about her nit being happy with me and state that if she is that unhappy she should not sstay with me. I would state that this is not what I want but I am not happy being roommates and I want her (& me) to be happy.

I need to figure out my real motivation before doing this. I know I am not happy being roommates and that cannot continue indefinitely. I know I prefer that W is happy but prefer that be with me. Maybe I hope that me taking some control and her seeing the end, may cause some reflection and maybe reconsider us. If that is the case I know it is a dangerous tactic that could havedevastating affect on boys lives.

I appreciate your thoughts on this. I am going to think about thus firva long time before if ever I do it. We are going to my brothers on holidays in a few weeks and a month later is my sons birthday. I imagine I can and should wait until then. I also have no financially viable backup plan so this is not to be taken lightly.