MLC Funhouse continues

[dejavu2]

HaWho - Congrats on the full time work!!! More money!

You are getting some great advise. I feel like I can offer you very little advise as I can strongly relate to where you are. For me it felt like there was hope that H was still living under the same roof and regularly engaged with the children. I was/am worried what will happen when he moves out. I don't want him to move out; however I also don't want things to stay as they are. H is very unhappy within himself. My husband has now left, but not moved out... he is bouncing between hotel rooms in the USA. I have no idea where his head is, what he expects from me or when he is coming home again.

You can support his idea of the apartment with strong boundaries. The apartment would be HIS HOME. He may visit your home on your terms. I realise you don't want him to get an apartment as it creates many uncertainties.

I too have said stuff like - "you need to leave, if you don't want to be married" --- I do that when I am frustrated and I want him to make a decision. I want him to fight for our marriage. For him to commit to it. I want to him to choose. I want to know where I stand with him. I now realise that he cannot choose, because he has no idea what he wants. He is broken on the inside.

They keep coming to us to help make decisions as we are the sane adult in their lives that they can trust.

I know this is tough as you are faced with this rollercoaster every morning/noon/night. Just keep the focus on you. He is going to do what he chooses, regardless of how much you analyze.