Cargiver aka fool?

[sandi2]

I think you need to read the chapters after those about the 7 steps. Start with chapter ten (I think) about infidelity, the Last Resort Technique, MLC, depression, and other problems in the MR.

So sorry she has so much health problems. It can really take a toll on a family....and especially the MR. You may want to consider talking to a DB Coach about your specific problem.

Has she ever had similar behavior in the past? Do you know why her first M ended?

Meanwhile her behaviour has been increasingly strange for her, goign out 2-3 times a week until 2 AM +...etc where before she might drink once every few months.

So her illness does not interfere with her going out and drinking till 2 in the morning?

She gets home last night and I go out to help her with her bags, her car looks like it has been scrubbed down clean on the inside. she rushes inside and dumps her dirty clothes out (which all smell like smoke) and only spends a few minutes with out broken arm son before leaving the bedroom to do who knows what. Right now I'm suspicious that she didn't even go to DC but maybe went to FL to see that guy. And if that is true...she ws having so much fun ther she couldn't drive back ASAP to the hospital?

If she is a WW, then no, she couldn't wouldn't drive back to the hospital. Based on what you've said here, it doesn't sound good. If she went all the way to FL to see another man, then the EA has probably gone to a PA. Brace yourself.

I know I'm not supposed to think about the Affair and what the spouse is doign with them but IT IS FREAKING HARD. This past weekend our son went into surgery and she didn't even come home. I have NO idea who this woman is anymore......

I don't believe anyone is capable of not thinking about their spouse being in an A. Maybe what you mean is not obsessing about it, which would be nearly impossible when first discovering it.

This woman is not the girl you M.

Have you read the threads on help for the newcomer LBH who has a WW? If not, I hope you will take the time to read it. I came here eight years ago as a wayward wife. I am still with my H and not only was my M saved, but so was I. Although my heart can feel for your W, I also know the dark side she may be going down. You will not recognize her. I'm so sorry. This board can help you as you make this journey. If it can help a WW like me, who wasn't wanting to stay in her M......it can certainly help someone who does.

Take a long, deep breath, and hang on tight.