The next time he raises the issue about the apartment, you could then use some of the wording that the other posters have provided today. I would definitely put the decision making in his ball park. He would need to make the decision to: 1) either rent his own place and that will be where he lives, eats, sleeps, cooks, etc.; or 2) he lives at home. It is unacceptable to have an apartment and then think he's going to come home when he needs his laundry done.
Gosh, this reminds me of a poster years ago who had a husband that would come home on certain days of the week with the goldfish in a mayonnaise jar for visits. Actually, he came home on the days his wife (at the time) would do the baking for her kids and then turn around and go back to his place after he ate his fill of baked goods. Well, one time he told her was too sick to do anything, so she cooked up some chicken soup and took it over and knocked on the door. He opened the door just a wee bit and his wife pushed the door open further and guess who was running to hide in the closet! The ow! Well, needless to say, the goldfish didn't come home for another family visit ever again. I still get chuckle over this one.
Do not make the decision for him. He's a grown man and needs to make his own decisions. I don't think it's so much as fear, but he wants YOU to make the decision so that if it doesn't work out, he can blame YOU for telling him what to do. Don't play mom to his child.
For now, just wait until the issue raises it's head again.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
