Hi Little, Welcome to the forum - think you will find it a supportive place. Your post caught my eye because our BD dates are so close. You've survived a tough year. Pat yourself on the back. Good for you!
A few comments from your posts
I do not want a divorce and he knows it. That's good. I would draw a distinction here - it's good if he knows you don't want a divorce because you feel divorce is not the answer and bad for your family. Not so good if thinks you don't want a divorce because you are clinging to him and can't stand on your own. It doesn't sound like you are doing that - but just keep it in mind I do not ask questions except how was work type. Good I do not text or call or email first. Since day one all communication is began by him.Good I do not discuss the children unless he asks. For some reason I have it in my head if he cared he would be home with them.Good I do things that interest me. My hobbies. Things I stopped doing because I had a family to take care of. Great! Let's hear more about those! I do not tell him I love him. Well to him anyways. Great!
You mention you aren't sure if your husband is in MLC - make sure you read some posts in that forum - maybe some of them will hit home and feel familiar to you. I will share that I have had two therapists tell me they thought my STBX was in a MLC - but when I read the stories in the MLC forum, it never really felt like he was in that league - which is why I still hang out over here in Newcomers.
Now onto these:
Why did ow become so important to h that he walked out? Why doesn't he want me? The answer to these questions is probably the same - I doubt it has much to do with you - your H is trying to fill a hole in himself with the thrill and excitement of a new romance. Sure - there may have been problems in your marriage - but he chose a destructive way to deal with them Why does it feel like he will forget about us? Well - that's a natural fear given his behavior the last year. Why does she get to make the rules regarding when and where he sees the children and I need to accept it? This one I don't and refuse to back down. Can you elaborate on this? Why is it all about her and him? You do have some choice on this one. Your life isn't all about him and her. The more you develop those GAL activities and cultivate the other relationships in your life, the less you will feel this way.
Originally Posted By: little1
I have no one to talk to regarding all of this. My 2 younger daughters, though are very angry with their father, are supporting me, whereas my oldest daughter and parents are angry, want me to file for divorce, and don't support me. None of my friends have been through this so I have no one. ...... As you can see I tend to ramble or say things that will probably upset someone. I was on another forum and spent most of my time being yelled at and told what I was doing wrong.
I am in a similar position IRL. There isn't a lot of divorce in my world - that's why these boards are helpful and I think you will find them to be a supportive place.
