I'm sorry you're going through all of this. It sounds like you're facing things and bracing for the storm.
It's not unreasonable to expect that she will experience all sorts of ranging emotions from anger to blame, etc. You can't control her emotions, only yours. So make sure you keep a cool head if she tries to contact you. Don't take the bait and argue with her. End any conversation that's becoming destructive vs. constructive ASAP.
You'll only wear yourself out trying to penetrate the walls she's built. Whatever you've been doing the past 6 months hasn't worked. The best thing you can do is work on yourself and show consistency with the changes. She may see that and bring the walls down or she may not. Either way, you'll come out a better man in the end.
Try not to harbor bitterness or resentment towards her for the situation that you're in. It's easy to blame the other person for your emotional turmoil, increased workload to fight the financial strain, etc but being pissed won't change a thing except to wreck your sanity and inner peace. If you ultimately want reconciliation, then you're going to have to choose to look past any self-centered or angry behavior that she exhibits towards you. Be the bigger person and take accountability for yourself. With that said, don't let her treat you like a doormat. She needs to take accountability too. She just may not be ready to do that and you can't force her to. You can only change your attitude.
As far as the divorce process goes, I know your goal is to reconcile but if she's not ready, then you need to prepare yourself financially and emotionally for the divorce to go through. Read the boards with advice about going dark and stick with it.
In her mind, today is just 7/22. I know it's tough and today has special meaning for you. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will be celebrating 7/22/16 with your wife.
