All that being said- I would like it very much if OW went away - I could deal with another girlfriend much more easily. The idea of having this woman who encouraged and helped expedite the break up of my family being shoehorned into my life is distasteful.
Interesting. I've never really thought of OM that way. I believe he played a role too in my W's decision to leave. I see him as a given. In fact, I don't like the idea of my WW being single again, on the market and dating. Anyway, just sharing my interest in your perspective.
and
Originally Posted By: SunnyB
Raliced, I'm with you. At this point I don't care who STBX is with except for the duck. I will never accept a woman who thought walking out on his wife and kids was the right thing to do.
Some interesting discussion. Mozza- I have to say that I feel absolutely zero attraction for STBX and in all honesty, do not feel jealousy where he is concerned. I guess I feel that he and OW have actively harmed me - they've taken away a big chunk of my time with my children, have blown up the family I held dear, slashed my financial security and frankly, more or less upended my world. I'm going to be blunt here - for those reasons, I do in fact sometimes think of them as the enemy. I'm stuck with STBX - but would rather not have the other one constantly popping into my life. I don't want to speak for Sunny, but it sounds like she has similar feelings.
I should also comment that I would far prefer it if STBX was out and about dating (as long as he didn't bring casual dates around the kids). He and I are a long ways off from having an effective co-parenting relationship. And her presence makes it more difficult. For example- a few weeks D7 came home wearing a shirt with Barbie on it that said "Born To Shop!". That's not really the tone I want to strike with my daughters. Someday I would like to be able to talk to him about these kinds of things (after all D7 will be a tween in a few years and we will have to hold a consistent line about her wardrobe choices) - but OW picked the shirt out - and he's pretty defensive where she is concerned - so I didn't bother.
Originally Posted By: Mozza
Let's try not to read too much into it, but to me it's rather the addition of a new home in their life that seems like a bad sign of how things are going between them, like they need a little distance. End of speculation.
I know. I know. Speculating is bad - but really hard to avoid. Primarily, because I guess I am little nervous that this is a step towards integrating her further into our lives. STBX has D3 tonight. When I dropped her at daycare there was a large black pickup parked across the street that has never been there before. My daughters have previously mentioned that OW drives a big black truck - so of course I wondered if that was her watching me. And I hate that feeling of not knowing what the heck is going on. I know that probably sounds neurotic, but it's hard not to speculate when there is so much unknown.
I know all will eventually become clearer and I will deal with whatever comes - but after a year of this - I was hoping for smoother waters.
