Also, I told him that this OW and him are not going to work out. She lives across the country and the relationship started with lies. I told him this was just a blip in our marriage and that he would come back to me. I also said that I would wait for him. That made him cry.
You can't teach an infidel. Stop trying to teach him. At best you can land little "truth darts" here and there, and if what you said above only gets said OCCASIONALLY (no more than once every couple of weeks) then okay -- those are actually two pretty good truth darts.
But more importantly, you do NOT want to communicate endless patience. Instead of "I will wait for you," it's best to say "I won't live in an open marriage. I don't want a divorce, but neither will I allow myself and our family to be disrespected like this. You need to know that, and you need to know that I won't wait forever. We both have some big decisions to make."
THAT is strong, and THAT is attractive. Neediness and supplication is never attractive.
Starsky
P.S. Look up a poster named Train, and read her threads. I'll ask her to stop by yours, too. She successfully DB'd her marriage using a combination of strength and flirty mysteriousness with her wayward husband.
