Looking for advice and comfort

[PT33]

Continuing my long story......
So we continued to go to couples therapy the last half of may and first half of june.
The therapist would tell me how much I had grown in just a few weeks.
Sessions were unproductive because it was just rehashing the past, we weren't moving forward.
This was because of my W.
She couldn't move past her anger and forgive me.
Couples therapist had suggest she see an IC, but she never went. Half way through June 2015 she said she did want to go to therapy anymore because it wasn't helping and it gave her anxiety.
Let me give you some background...My W has really bad anxiety and probably should be on meds.
I did not know the extent of her anxiety until recently.
She was able to hide it very well.
I feel like it controls her now.
She also had a rough childhood and was in a few relationships where she was mentally/emotionally abused. Anyways instead of going to therapy she wanted to just be "normal".

Again I was heartbroken because if we didn't talk about our relationship how was it going to get better?
So of course I was doing all the wrong things (all of them listed in DR).
I was having a hard time detaching and realizing this was not the same person I married. I was in disbelief. I wanted to understand.
So the things I was doing was pushing her away.
End of june she told me she didn't have it in her to try anymore and that she had been trying for the last yr.

It would have been nice if I had known that.
She said she wasn't happy.
I told her that I love her and that we are worth saving, blah blah blah.
All the things you are not supposed to do and say.

As a last resort I suggested that she take the month of july and see a therapist.
I did not tell her that I thought I was not the sole cause of her unhappiness.
I have learned through this process that a person doesn't make you happy, you make yourself happy and that person just makes your life that much better.
I think she has a lot of issues she has to work through like letting go of anger and learning to forgive.
I am hoping that this will help us.
She has been going every week, the first 2 weeks she went twice a week.
Last week it seemed like she had a rough session.

I started the DB 3 weeks ago. I started to see results pretty quickly. I stopped asking questions about what her plans were etc, physical touch, crying in front of her.
I try to always be positive and cheerful when Im around her. We go to the gym in the AM four days a week and she started to smile at me and talk more etc when we interact.
She also complimented me on my body.

2 Saturdays ago she came into my room ( I hate saying that) at 630 AM and said she had a bad dream and if she could come in bed with me.
We cuddled and slept for 3 more hours.
I have been trying to GAL and not wait around for her. Typically she leaves Saturdays and goes and does whatever she wants, sometimes she stays the night(says she gets a hotel) or comes back late.
She hasn't been staying the night as much as she was. She is also starting to be home more.
Anyways 2 weekends ago she came home on Sunday(typically we hang out, she is usually in a bad mood) I was not there, trying to show her I am GAL.
When I came she was asking what I was doing.
I was just brief and didn't give her details.

I told her I picked up our contacts and I would have to give her money when I was paid this week (she separated our money the end of April, killed me made me feel like I was after her money.)
I barely get by because we split all the bills/mortgage. Last month and half she always trys to pay for things, first month she didn't care.
She said not to worry about paying for the contacts, I told her no that I could do it and I didn't want her to think I was using her for her money.

She spoke to me like she used to and said "honey its ok don't worry about" as she was saying this stroked my face and hugged me.
First time in a long that she intiated physical touch. Rest of day was good and felt more like us.
My twin lives with us ( i will elaborate in a later post about that), we have the same phone and my wife saw a text from a girl, she thought it was my phone!!!

She later asked me what girl was texting me all jealous like. I told her that wasn't my phone.

Anyways a little more to the story, but I will post again later.