Hello

[714Dad]

Starsky, I did it because in a little over one month she's gone from talking about vacations to literally filing for divorce. It's so rapid so as to leave me grasping.

As I said my head is still essentially spinning. Maybe EA,PA, but what can I really do about it other than add to the worry I already have?

I just got DB today. So I'll start that tonight.

Otherwise as said I'm optimistic, dressing well, being that person that I've wanted to be for so long. It's for me and my girls of course, but a great deal of it is for her as well. I understand logically she's gone, but I so want an opportunity to make up for all the years of crap. To finally embrace the ways I should have been and see her smile and laugh and be happy again.

But deep inside I'm still a shambles.

And I want my family intact. I don't want to be separate parents. She was my best friend for 18 years.

I know it's an individual thing but what is the average time to get to the point of acceptance? To get to a place where almost every thought isn't of her or some memory of a trip or some future idea you'd planned for?

Logic makes sense, all the threads of distance and all that, but emotion is still boiling over for me. When I took the D6 and D3 to see "Inside Out" the tears were streaming down my face for all of the family scenes.

I just want to stop feeling this. The only word is devastating.