we wiill move stuff into an apartment on 8/8. She still wants "space". Still talking to men on the Internet. She says she knows that to do so is incompatible with marriage and that if we reconcile it will end. For now she says it's her lifeline against loneliness.
She says that when she looks at me all she can think of is the years of neglect and loneliness, and the countless times I hurt her. She cannot bring herself to reopen her heart and chance getting hurt again. She says that she hopes time apart will let her miss the good things and be able to perceive change in our relationship and in me. She wants to see me get a life and be a whole person on my own.
I had a near breakdown and went to my therapist and medical doc on the same day. The pain is just too great. I was having a lot of issues at home and work. I'm better now.
I have to focus on GAL. Plus I think based on my crash that I may be codependent. Not sure on that yet. Doing the personal inventory to find out. Seeking to restablish my relationship with God. I've been away from him for a long long time. Not even sure where to begin.
Me: 39 W: 38 T-18yrs M-13yrs 2 Girls: 10 & 3 EA BD 5/24/15 Separate Bedrooms 6/12/15 PA BD 7/3/15 Separate Residence 8/8/15
