"Burned out" to me means hat I don't want to do anything for anyone, including myself. GAL is hard when I'm feeling like that and I have to really do a lot of pep talking to myself to get myself motivated.
My burdens. There are a lot!!!
My house: It is my house, it has always been my house. Many people have come and gone and lived in my house. None ever helped pay for the house. My fault, I thought being kind and taking people in was the right thing to do, but it would have been kinder to them and me if they would have paid their way. So, the house is being cleaned out of everyone's stuff. I'm being pretty ruthless. If it has been in my basement for years and they have not bothered to get their stuff it is going in the trash. I will get his house fixed up and ready to sell. I have some equity that will help me start a new life.
My illness (Scleroderma): It is my burden. I educate myself about treatments and tests. I do have an uphill battle ahead of me with my work's disability department. They want me to go back to work. I know that I will never be able to do the work I did for 17 years without crippling myself. I will fight them and already have the number of a top notch lawyer that has taken on my employer before. Btw...I built cars for a living for one of the top import car manufacturers. The days of installing tires, front windshields, dashboards are over for me. It [censored], since I was only 10 years away from retiring with a full pension. But if I stay for 10 more years I will be crippled or dead. On a brighter note, my BFF is big time into naturopathy. She has been helping me with supplements and vitamins as well as meditation and healing touch. I have her in my corner no matter what. My mother as well is much more sympathetic and does quite a bit of research for me.
My animals: Tough one!!! The Guineas have been re-homed to a wonderful young lady. She takes great care of them and sends me pictures once in a while. Funny thing is that I know her grandfather and have him on FB. She and her mom added me and I can keep up with what the Guinea boys are doing through there. My H, whose Guineas they were in the first place does not even ask about them. Kinda sad! My dog, I have had her for almost 11 years, since she was 8 weeks old. I want to keep her with me, but am accepting the fact that she might be better off living at my moms instead of an apartment with me. My dogs sister lived there until Christmas when she passed away. She has spent quite a bit of time having sleep-overs at Grandmas house. My mom also thinks it would be a good idea. My oldest cat has to come with me. She is a loner and very attached to me as I am attached to her. My problem kitty belongs to my son. He brought home the cat 6 years ago, but didn't take him with him when he left the house 2 years ago. I did make my son pay for all his vet bills throughout the years. My son and I are at odds right now, because I would not let him, his GF and her son flop at my house anymore. My son couch surfs between his GF's house, his buddy's and my moms house. He will not take responsibility for his cat, but my mom has agreed to take him. She has 13 acres and he would have the life of a pampered indoor/ outdoor cat. That leaves 3 more cats. One is my momma cat that a friend of my sons left behind when he lived at my house and then moved without her. My daughter has bonded with her and she will take care of her. That leaves my two boys. I still call them kittens, even tough hey are almost 5 years old and huge. They are absolute sweethearts and both very loving and clean. I have had them since the day they were born. I don't want to part with them. I have thought about re-homing them with a healthy incentive to whomever takes them and a clause that they have to give updates and give them back to me if they can't keep them. Still not sure about what to do there.
My stuff: I couldn't care less about my furniture or belongings. I just want to take the basics. Couch, coffee table, beds, a dresser each, the TV's (2), the computers. I have my collection of lady bugs in 2 boxes already. My D and I have pared down our clothes to maybe a quarter of what we had before. We are trying to sell as much as we can (clothes and furniture) and are giving away/donating/trashing what we can't.
My vehicles: One car I will keep. One car goes back at the end of October to the lease company. The motorcycle I am selling in the next few weeks. As much as I would like to keep it, I need the money and I don't want to worry about moving it in the fall when I move. I can always buy another one next spring.
My future: I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I want to do for the rest of my working career. I try not to dwell on it too much. I have asked the universe to guide me. I am leaning towards something to do with animals. I have always said that if I won the lottery I would open an animal sanctuary. I will do research and see what kind of courses are available in animal care.
My H: He is no longer my burden. He has to take care of himself.
Ok, now this a long post. I have to wrap it up since I promised my brother I would check in on his dogs while he is at work.
Last edited by Diana45; 07/21/1511:39 PM.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
