Hello, I need some advice. I'm trying to do 180 but am not sure if it's the best action to take right now.
My H is working/vacationing across the country for the summer to return in Sept. Some of that time away will be spent with the OW. He considers us separated but he hasn't moved out yet.
Just before he left, we were getting really close. He said he wants to stay friends. We were bike riding, hanging out with friends/family and having fun together. I initiated sex a lot. He turned me down a lot but we did connect a few times. He says he doesn't want me to feel bad. He says I am sexy and beautiful but he felt it wasn't right for us to have sex and it made him feel bad.
So the first week and a half he was away I was trying to keep in contact with him by sending him one way texts and emails. I was a complete basket case! I actually stooped so low as to go into his email account to find out where he was. Saw that he bought her a ring and that my MIL was wishing them well. WTH? He found out I was in his email. He said he was angry but didn't want to waste energy on it. Then said it was just sad. I apologized and asked him to change his pswd so I wouldn't be tempted again.
He called me on my birthday with my prompting. At first the conversation was strained but by the end it was comfortable. We talked for an hour. On Thursday it'll be 1 week since that conversation. I haven't texted, emailed, or called him since. I feel not as crazy now because I do feel like I have some control over the situation but I am worried whether I'm doing the right thing. Isn't he going to get closer with the mistress if I don't keep in contact? Won't he feel like I don't care and that I can live my life without him? I'm afraid the 180 will backfire on me. Any advice is appreciated.
