I understand that detaching is meant for me and to help me feel better but does it give the impression that I don't give a crap and that divorce isn't going to be a bad thing, since I seem okay? This is where I am struggling about doing the right thing because it feels so awkward. That means I am not going down a cheese less tunnel, right?
That's a common feeling to have. The point of detaching isn't to show the other person you don't care, but the opposite. You don't do it to punish, it comes from a place of love. It shows you care about their feelings, you respect their choice to live the life the way they want. That you can stand back and allow them to find their path in life without being too emotionally invested in the outcome. They may see it a different way, but nothing you can do about it. Pursuing/begging/controlling doesn't work, respecting their choice even if you don't agree with it does.
It will feel awkward but if your H says your M is over, you have to respect his feelings right now. The way you do that is by improving your life and becoming the best person possible. Fixing the faults you're responsible for in the M(within reason). Accepting your M may be over and you will move on with your life and be ok with or without him. You fix you and let him fix him.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
