FIDO - Changing The Rules - Pt 2

[Train]

^^^ I agree with Starsky.

At the risk of sounding abrasive (because maybe I misunderstood something in your post):

NH, you do a lot of self-reflection. And you've acknowledged your fear and how you've let it stand in your way.

Sounds like it is still there and calling the shots.

Everybody has been clear that your best bet is to make a decision and MOVE on it. You seemed ready to make your move just a few days ago then ... yawn ... you decide to talk the decision over with your W - again? (Because we all know how THAT has gone over since you landed here ...)

And then, you're back to mindreading your W's behavior. (And she sounds to me like a *Master* Manipulator, so attempting to read her behavior is like a dog chasing its tail ... and another dog's tail ... all at once.)

Am I missing something?

Because I'll be brutally honest: If I smell indecision and weakness, you can bet W can. And she's seeing that she can throw you a bone and you roll over. ***That is not*** what a woman truly wants in a man. With your W, it's happened so often that I swear she has learned exactly how to manipulate you into thinking the crumbs she's throwing you are stuffed turkeys. I think it's become so natural to her that she may not even realize she's doing it! But like a dog who learns to sit for a treat - even if his master is only pretending to hold one - she's trained you to sit and stay.

It's no wonder she keeps jerking your chain. (To be able to jerk your chain, she has to be holding you by one.)

Your W has no reason to change. She's going to continue keeping you right where you are until YOU decide it's time to move. And then - and only THEN - you TELL her what you're going to do. Don't wait for her opinion. Don't wait for her input. Don't discuss it with her.

Decide. And act.