I've been searching for ways to expand my flight instructing business to build more streams of income, maybe through online content. My current business model really only allows me to engage one student at a time, which really limits my revenue potential. My sitch has really lit a fire under me to expand my business, both as a GAL activity and as a way to help my financial situation if we D.
I had lunch the other day with a friend from work who is building a successful online business writing resumes and doing job interview coaching. She gave me some fantastic things to think about and really helped me get unstuck. I've made more progress on my business in the last week than I have in 6 months.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I wish I could argue with you Sandi, but no, I can't.
I have operated out of fear; some days I've felt strong, but not always.
I am so right there with you. I am so afraid of doing the wrong thing. I am also afraid of divorce for my kids. If we did 't have kids, things would be so much easier & simpler.
I am glad you're on your way to getting this stuff figured out. I'll be following along so maybe I can learn a thing or two!
Hi HopeOK,
My kids are who I worry about too. Whatever life throws at me, I'll run with, but I do worry about them. How they handle this sitch will depend a lot on how she and I handle it.
I'm ready to move out. I was lying in bed this morning, thinking about how much disconnect I feel towards her. I'm the one that's starting to feel trapped.
My big problem is figuring out the finances. We're buried under medical bills right now. I know that sounds like an excuse, and it's not intended to be, but I can't be stupid about this. I'm looking for a roommate situation, so that will be a little cheaper than starting up in my own apartment right now.
I hope I can help, but my road has been a long and frustrating one...I have operated out of fear far too long instead of moving towards the life I want.
Just ask Starsky, Sandi, and Wonka
Yeah, I can see what you are saying. I had a moment this past week where I thought- why do I even want to remain in this marriage with all this stress and with all the things H has done? Of course I have vacillated on this but there does come a point where you start to wonder if it is better to split up.
T: 14 M: 12 D: 9 S: 6 BD: 2/18/15 (H affair) Working on marriage: 3/12/15-6/11/15 Broken Trust (my error): 6/11/15 H ring off: 7/6/15; Comm w/ OW confirmed 7/13/15 H wants to work on fixing things: 7/21/15
I think everyone hits a wall at some point. It has taken me a LONG time to get here...I'm sure I drove some of the vets here that were working with me to drink....In a way it's been hard because my W and I get along so well 95% of the time; it's not like she up and moved out, or continued in an active A.
Despite the seeming improvement a LOT is missing from our marriage that we both think is important. Before I was trying to get her to see that we still fit together. Now I'm trying to figure out if she fits with MY life. That's an important paradigm shift, and took a lot of my fear away.
Last edited by NH115; 07/20/1502:18 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Hey NH - I completely understand where you are - it is so tough. Always giving it one more day - never really wanting to give that up. But at some point there is nothing left to do but move on - move forward.
I am doing the same.
I just wanted to chime in and offer my support.
Hang in there buddy.
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
I think everyone hits a wall at some point. It has taken me a LONG time to get here...I'm sure I drove some of the vets here that were working with me to drink....In a way it's been hard because my W and I get along so well 95% of the time; it's not like she up and moved out, or continued in an active A.
Despite the seeming improvement a LOT is missing from our marriage that we both think is important. Before I was trying to get her to see that we still fit together. Now I'm trying to figure out if she fits with MY life. That's an important paradigm shift, and took a lot of my fear away.
Yeah, that is tough. But I think having the new perspective will be helpful in figuring out what is best.
T: 14 M: 12 D: 9 S: 6 BD: 2/18/15 (H affair) Working on marriage: 3/12/15-6/11/15 Broken Trust (my error): 6/11/15 H ring off: 7/6/15; Comm w/ OW confirmed 7/13/15 H wants to work on fixing things: 7/21/15
You know, NH, you really have grown. And, that sounds so stinking condescending, but I hope you take that as the compliment it was intended. You seem to be on the outside how I feel on the inside, but I don't have your confidence.
Now, you just have to focus on what's best for you. While our sitches are different, in that decisions were made for me (or perhaps, in spite of me), you have the ball firmly in your court moving forward.
I think it shows a great deal of maturity in your dealing with the situation when you explained to Vanilla a few comments back how you were not worried about leaving your daughters in your wife's care.
All of this sounds so pompous and like I think I'm a vet, which I SO am not and there are LOTS of those here who give great advice, but what it all boils down to is that you have made a change and it looks like a positive one, at least from my perspective and I'm so happy for you. I'm rooting and praying for you!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I don't know if I've grown so much as hit a wall. My confidence wavers from time to time, but I know I'm on the right path here.
I don't know that I'm being forceful enough with her. I mentioned again about moving out and why, but she doesn't seem to want to talk about that all the way through. She was awful clingy last night when we went to bed, though. She did say that she could feel my love for her fading. It's not my love that fading, it's my willingness to be in an R that's not working that's fading. Love was never the question.
I don't worry about her and the Ds. Despite all that's gone on she's fundamentally a good person who is going through a crisis. She's always been a fantastic mom.
Always great to hear from you Dawn, I can tell that you're doing great!
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
At MOST just say "I have decided that this isn't working for me anymore, and I need to get on with my life."
That's it in a nutshell, Wonka. I want to make my position clear without that "grand pronouncement".
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I don't know that I'm being forceful enough with her. I mentioned again about moving out and why, but she doesn't seem to want to talk about that all the way through.
