Yes, yes and yes! I did take on everyone's burdens. I was always the responsible one. Took care of everything and everyone as best as I could. Now I feel I can't anymore. I'm burned out! Physically, mentally and emotionally burned out. I have this big house, filled with things I really don't want and need. I'm alone most of the time. My daughter is still here with me. Bless her heart, but she thinks she has to take care of me. I see her turning into the same person as I was. I don't want that for her. I want her to spread her wings and live her life.
I do love my H, but am taking a huge step back. He needs to live his life and grow up. Only then will our M have a chance. As much as I don't want to be alone, I have to be alone. I have to find myself again. I don't even know what it is that I like to do anymore. I'm on a new journey. My whole life has to change. It's scary walking away from everything I've known and done for the last 20 years, but if I don't I will always wonder "What if?".
Today is my daughters 23rd Birthday. We are going out for lunch at an Indian food restaurant (her favourite). Before that, my brother, her and I will be taking the second load of trash to the dump. Every bit that gets cleaned out feels like a burden lifting from my shoulders. I have to keep going. I know I will have tears when this house finally sells, but then I will have freedom from something else I really don't need and want.
V, by all means ask me anything. You are kind and wise. You have helped and guided so many people on this forum.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
