NAP, I'm not sorry that you are divorced, but I am sorry that he's been dragging his heels and keeping you strung along on the issue. I'm sorry that things haven't progressed further along so that you know where you stand in all of the mix. Limbo is not a good place to be for any length of time.
I'm still of the opinion that you need to contact the lawyer to see why there hasn't been any progress on the divorce. This doesn't necessarily mean you are in a hurry, but I would venture to say that your h hasn't been totally forthcoming about why it's at a standstill. It could mean he owes the lawyer money or he may have told her to table the case. It's worth a call just to find out what has happened. Whatever the case, do not rely on him to be truthful and to do things in your best interest.
If, and when you are divorced, you will move on w/your life and your h will no longer have any control over you, i.e., you will not be where he left you. He will not be able to control anything that deals w/your life, except where it concerns your children. You will be free to date and if the right person comes along, possibly remarry. Right now, by staying married, it may be in his favor in several ways: 1) he can use you as an excuse as to why the divorce is dragging on and on; 2) he can use the excuse of being married as a reason not to marry the ow; and 3) he may very well look at you as Plan B if things don't work out. BTW, he knows you well enough to know that you would take him back, so he's in no hurry to rock the boat of getting divorce even though he said it a while ago. Besides, it costs a lot of money, money he didn't realize that he would need to cough up to pay it.
MLCers do not like for us to move on, be happy and leave them in the wind.
However, knowledge is power and you need to know what is going on so that you can be prepared one way or the other.
